“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage” -Brene Brown
When people use the word “vulnerable” the first words that often come to mind is weak, powerless, or helpless, and we tend to set aside that vulnerability can actually be valuable. To be able to form a connection with someone on any level there has to be some form of vulnerability that is present. This is where shame comes into play; we begin to shame ourselves for showing someone our souls, due to, the fear of rejection or disconnection. The thing about vulnerability is that it is the creation of joy, belonging, faith, love, and innovation. This means that we have to adapt the continuously changing world, and be able to manage the difficult emotions that surface.
When dealing with vulnerability in relationships it is curtail to be able to drop the walls that you’ve built to be able to accept this person in your heart. It is essential to be raw and honest from the very beginning to keep this long lasting. This means informing the person when you’re feeling, lonely, sad, joy, and accepted. You need to be able to express your wants and needs and not be fearful that they could potentially reject you. If they truly love you, they will do what it takes, so don’t fret if this one can’t handle your vulnerability, because that just means he wasn’t it for you.
This is when you feel humiliation due to your conscious mind. It’s your turn to present your speech to the class and your mind starts its ranting, you’re not good enough, I know you don’t think you’re smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, I know you’ll get bright red, I know you think they are laughing at you. If you can just shut that voice up and say “I can do this” you will find that majority of the time the judge is none other than you. This is an assumption you are planting in your mind and it is destructible.
Shame has a direct link to eating disorders, bullying, depression, addictions, liars; you name it, if its harmful to the soul, then that is shame taking its control over you. Nobody really wants to talk about shame simply, because it hurts and you feel embarrassed. The brutal reality of this is that the less you talk about it, the more power you are giving it. We live in a world where women are expected to do it all and not break a sweat or if men show any type of emotion then they are considered weak. Stop feeding into society’s expectation and just be you. Establish a lifestyle where you speak to yourself the way you speak to the people you love. Life is what you make it out to be. Become stronger than your weakest thoughts.