I don’t know who you are, but I am sure you have heard a great deal about me. You probably know me as the crazy, indecisive, and dramatic ex-fiancé. I am the one he did everything for, the one who forced him to leave his family and friends, the one he was never good enough for, the one who ultimately packed and left. I have to admit that he is right, about me packing and leaving. You most likely don’t know about the lies, confusion, and false hope that he filled my head with, but I assure you that one day you will.
If it’s the beginning of the relationship then I imagine you are head over heels. You are absolutely blinded by his charm. He will show up at your place with flowers and your favorite bottle of wine. He will leave and you will call your friend and tell her you’ve never met anyone quite like him. He will begin by telling you everything you want to hear, “If we’re together then its forever.” I can hear it now. He then will open up about his past and about his problems and if you’re a nurturing person you will be so captivated by his brokenness. You will want to fix him and be his saving grace. This is his subtle way of trapping you into being his caretaker rather than his girlfriend. You begin to learn that he likes to go on walks at night, and how metal and EDM can lift his spirits. You notice that he orders extra sauce on the side with every meal to make every bite perfect, and you’ll definitely learn that he loves his mom. If it’s a long day at work then a little diet coke and tattoo will do the trick, and if you throw in a backrub with that then you’re golden. If it’s a long day at work for you, well, then be prepared to do the same thing. Oh, and If you think you can take him away from Michigan anything then you are wrong. He is only concerned with this own family and friends. Don’t be a fool and think he is worried about you and your family. You will learn even after sacrificing your needs and wants, it will never be enough for him. You will learn that he likes his coffee warm, his eggs over easy, and finally that he can shut off his emotions as easily as he can shut off a light, and before you know it you will be lying on the bathroom floor squeezing your chest, gasping for air, wondering what the hell went wrong. And him? Well, he will be nowhere to be found.
Get up. I know it hurts and you’re craving him in every form, but it is better than being trapped in this pain. Get up, wipe the make up off your face and run. Run as fast as you possibly can and never ever look back. I promise you from women to women, there is life after him.
But, if you’re like the old me you’ll put every ounce of pain aside, you’ll wipe your face, crawl back into bed, and take all the blame just so you can feel his arm around you. Please do not allow this to happen to you. Know your worth. You are allowed to have emotions and express yourself because you are human. Don’t allow him to control that. Leaving him will not be the end of you, but none other than a spectacular beginning. Save yourself before its too late.